If Ever You Are in My Arms Again
by ylovesy
Summary: Karura's loved Yasha for ages, she thought she was the happiest person on earth, as they finally got married. Well, at least until she realized that her husband was still head over heels in love with his ex, Ashura, who was now happily married to Eagle. One day, on a business trip, Karura met a dangerously attractive stranger and decided to take her chance. But then...


**If Ever You Are in My Arms Again**

AU. POV. Charas from RG Veda and MKR (in this case only my beloved Eagle ). Rated M, just in case. ;-)

Ever since she was still a teenager, Karura has loved only Yasha, which was why she thought she was the happiest person ever lived on earth, as they finally got married. Well, that was at least until she realized that her husband was still head over heels in love with his ex, Ashura, who unfortunately was now happily married to Eagle and not aware of his feelings at all. One day, on a business trip, Karura accidentally bumped into a dangerously attractive stranger. Lonely as she was, she decided to take her chance and enjoy the time. A few weeks later, she found out about her pregnancy and desperately needed to tell Yasha about it…

01\. The unexpected pregnancy—Karura

**Karura**

"Congratulations!"

That was not the word I seek for, nor was it the word I expected of. Not in this kind of situation, not in this normal, relax tone, and on top of all, also not from my husband, after hearing about my pregnancy. _Hearing about me carrying another man's baby! _

Oh how I had grieved! My body had never stopped to shiver and I could barely sleep since I knew about it. I feared of his wrath. I worried about our relationship, about our marriage, about everything. And I couldn't believe what I saw right now. Him! Warmly smiling at me, instead of slapping, sucker-punching and yelling "You bloody bitch!" or whatever the words similar to it!

_Something was not right, _my heart shouted. But then it was my clear mind who replied. _What was right in our term anyway? _

My own father had threatened us just like trash. Without even thoroughly think of the consequence if the plan would have failed, he put us in a risk of losing everything our family owned. Knowing himself dying because of his illness, hiding it from us all along, he left a testimony saying he would have left the whole wealth our family held—companies, their subsidiaries, estates, everything worth of hundred millions dollar—to some social organization, leaving us all but homeless and penniless, if I didn't get married within one month. _One bloody month!_ Not to count I was not in a relationship, wasn't even any closer to having a candidate of an applicable boyfriend-to-be in mind. He _just_ knew that _he_ would help me immediately. That_ he_ would never forsaken me…

On the same day the testimony was read and I felt so hopeless and upset all in sudden, _he_ saved me.

My friend, my only best friend and my ex-boyfriend. The one I had always silently had a big crush on. The one I loved the most, who, unfortunately no longer or maybe even never did share the same feeling. Yasha Ou. Young, handsome, rich, charming and arrogant and ambitious...A long list in which the only one I was looking for would never to be found: loving.

Oh, of course he loved me. I knew how he had loved me all along. As a friend. As a dear friend. But then, that was it.

And yes, for this case, father was right. He really did marry me without even thinking twice. I recalled the very moment I burst out of happiness, solely not because our heritage was saved, but because he finally became mine. My love. My husband. I was more than willing to do everything. Live for him. Die for him. How I wanted to become a worthy, loving, perfect wife in his eyes! All of those efforts. For nothing.

I should have known it since the very beginning. That no matter how hard I tried, I would have never succeeded.

He was far too distance.

His heart was too cold, too untouchable. Except…

Except for his ex.

A goddess, who he truly worshipped, who he still loved the most, more than anything...A very young, delicate and beautiful girl—who had left him for another man.

I thought it was just his ego, which refused to let it go. Knowing him for years, going through all those ups and downs together, I knew he hated nothing more than losing his things. And yes, as a fiancée, Ashura did count to his properties. A very precious one, I noticed, since none had ever succeeded to reach as high as she did. So I thought it would have just been like all of those mergers and acquisitions that weren't take place. He would have mourned and pouted and cursed and been upset for many days, and came back a week later with a fresh plan, starting all over again, forgetting whatever had just happened and be as ambitious as usual to achieve a new target.

…But no. This time, it was different.

My heart nearly stopped as I heard that he tried to kill himself soon after she left. I took the first flight from London to Tokyo to visit him right away and never saw him as fragile as that before. It took me a lot of efforts and time, but the good news was, I was able to save him. Bad news was, two years were gone and he still was mourning—each day even deeper.

_He loved her_. So much. Too much that I could tear myself apart out of jealousy.

"So…" Yes. There was an awkward silent. At least he knew that it should not have been a normal situation between us right now. But then he smiled again, with that genuine caring look on his handsome face. "Have you already found out? Is it going to be a boy or a girl?"

…I didn't answer. _In fact, I didn't even know what to say._

I had played all of those possibilities over and over again in my mind…ever since I felt a morning sickness for the very first time. Possibility one: Having him yelling at me out aloud, in front of his workers or even business partners, if necessary. He was always good at embarrassing someone, especially if he was very upset, you see. Possibility two: "You bollocks, slutty wife! I'll call my lawyer right now, dissolve the arrangement we made and throw you into the street right away!" should be his dialogue and I would have done anything, including begging on his foot not to ever do it, persuading him to do anything else instead—even to keep all those wealth and companies of our family's, as long as he didn't divorce me.

I had expected a lot. Every single of the worst cases. All…but not this.

_What was I to you?_

"What am I to you?" What a silly question. I couldn't help but letting my emotion override my brain. My heart ached. My pride injured. I didn't care about it anymore. For the first time in my life, I was too tired to hold my bitter tears. I let them shed.

"…Karura?" He frowned. No wonder. I was a proper Japanese woman. I was not supposed to cry in front of people. And he had never seen me crying before.

"DON'T!" I hissed as he wanted to gather me in his arms.

And he understood. He let me alone, but then my heart hurt even more.

_Why stop? Why don't you even try?_

Silence.

I wept my tears and tried to be brave. "…Don't, " my voice was so hoarse you could barely hear it. My body shivered. "Don't you want to know who its father is?"

02\. A fake marriage—Yasha

**Yasha**

"Don't you want to know who the father is?"

She asked me. Her voice was low and weary. Surely, I had seen her anxiety for a few days, but I certainly didn't see this one coming: her being pregnant. _Seriously?_ Karura who I knew was such a classy lady and not a wild one like this. She was the last person on earth I would have imagined doing a one night stand! _Shit!_ Whoever did succeed knocking her must have been a genius who knew how to deal with a highly educated and emancipated woman.

I wasn't blind. I knew Karura loved me so much. Not as a friend, but a lot deeper than that.

A love I could never reply.

And so it was her very right to…do this.

She was an adult. And adults had their needs.

Honestly, I didn't care with whom she spent the nights, where and how.

As long as she was safe. As long as she was happy. She was my only best friend and I cared for her.

Sure, we were married on the first place. But then, each of us knew that our marriage was only superficial. I had never touched her before, as I surely would never do. How could I? I noticed how it would not only be unfair but also gruesome, to sleep with her while it was somebody else who own my mind all the time…

Yet she asked me now, whether I wanted to know who the father was. Did I want to know?

_Maybe. _

"He must have been someone special," I diplomatically said. "I—"

Before I could bring my sentence to the end, there was a knock on my door and a few seconds later, Souma, my secretary, stepped in.

"I am sorry to disturb you, Sir, but Mr. Richards is here."

I didn't know how she managed to do that, but as always, I saw Karura instantly took her façade as a perfect lady again. There she went, elegantly smiling and small talking Souma like nothing had ever happened.

"Well, it sounds like a busy plan for today." She said at the end. "Just make sure you let him keeping up the good work but not coming home too late, will you?"

Silence.

"Ehm," Souma gulped as she looked at me warily. "I—I'm sorry, Ma'am. But I don't think that is going home tonight…"

Karura's smile froze as she suddenly realized whatever it was I was going to do.

"…Let me guess," she turned and her eyes met mine. Sharply. "Heading to NYC again?"

"Yes." I replied without any hesitation. For a second, I swore I own those mind reader abilities, as I could read her mind clearly. That was definitely a 'you-are-pathetic' gaze.

But…why the fuck should I care?

Call me pathetic. Call me sick.

I was going there anyway.

"…Alright then." I almost forgot of how I always had adored Karura's forbearance. Her self-control was simply unbreakable. "Have a pleasant journey, honey."

And a tender kiss landed on my cheek, as she said goodbye.

Yes, we were married. At least we had been acting like if we were. But then, that was it. The fact of her spending the nights with a stranger or even being pregnant like that didn't disturb me at all. As whatever I wanted to do and wherever I wanted to go should be none of her business, too.

New York City

This metropolitan city had never failed to amaze me. Arriving there shortly after twilight, where all those lights had just been turned on, I soon felt like I was home. In fact, this was the place where my heart had been home for the last two years, because…because Ashura lived here.

_My_ Ashura.

I groaned as my mind started mentioning her name like a litany. _Ashura. Ashura. Ashura…_

My heart ached so much, longing to see its half.

_Ashura, how I have missed you…_

"Your car is ready, Sir." Kendappa, a personal assistant I hired for headquarter of my company in New York smiled friendly. She was a young professional, intelligent and very, very attractive. I heard much about the rumour of her being the cause of some chaos on the executive boards—some sex affairs, the details of which I never really wanted to know. One of them had even asked me to fire her out of disappointment. But despite being a scandalous woman, it seemed that she was too good at doing her job. Losing her would be a shame. So I fired the one who dared asking me instead. None should mix private life and business like that. Not in my company. And not if you were to be my executive, you fool. "…You must be tired. Do you want me to drive you there?"

_Tired? Me? Yes, I was tired of this life since the day I had lost her…Tell her that._

"No, thank you." I replied, causing a slight regret on her face. "Let me take it from here." I reached for the key of my beloved newest Mercedes in black, but somehow it seemed she didn't want to give it up.

"To _that house_, right?" She clung to it like a child refused giving up its blanket. "I live near there anyway, so I can just go home right after…or…or take you back to the airport as usual."

"Look, Kendappa," I sighed, realizing of how tired I was now and being reminded of the long flight back to Tokyo right after to be able to be on time for the meeting tomorrow didn't cheer me up either. "I appreciate it, but—"

"You must be tired, Sir. And with all those jetlag and different time zone…I'd be glad to offer a bit of help."

"Your working hour has just ended."

"T-That's okay," she said stubbornly. "I'd not charge you for this. I'd love to do it, that's all. Like I said, it's on my way home anyway."

I looked at her and her blue eyes glared back at me, daring and challenging. _Oh, remind me of how I dislike western women…_All westerns, but...Ashura. Well, she was only half blood, so it didn't count. She always behaved like one, though. Ah, thinking of her made me feel warm. _Ashura_…

_Ashura, Ashura, Ashura_…my mind demanded. Stronger now.

"…Fine," I nodded, totally unwilling to spend this precious time for a useless fight, where I could invest more of it to see her around. "Whatever."

I let her opened the door and got in.

I could not wait any longer. I just wanted to see her.

I _needed_ to see her…

03\. That mysterious girl—Kendappa

**Kendappa**

_Oh, for Christ's sake! Just say yes!_

_Please! Pleeeaaaaassseeeee!_

I clung to the car key like it was my life saver and God bless me, for I prayed to him like I had never prayed before in my whole life…willing for my big boss to say yes.

And then I saw his smile and his gaze so far away within, full of longing of something.

Longing of _someone_. Of _that _girl.

Well, she was a fool to dump this alpha male standing right in front of me…but then…I realized she wasn't fool enough to keep him when she could get that fantastic Eagle Vision. _Fuck me_. Eagle Gerard Vision, the only son of the world's most famous and wealthiest German-American conglomerate family. He was ten thousands times more good-looking…and at least five hundred million dollars more worth…

_Darn, that girl was a fucking genius!_

_I should ask her how to fish such fine men like 'em!_

"Fine. Whatever." I almost jumped out of joy as that masculine voice with damn sexy, heavy British accent of his finally answered. _Fuck my BF Michael. Fuck Brad Pitt. Fuck me. Oh, my Gosh! Yasha Ou was definitely the sexiest man alive_ _and I was going to spend at least twenty minute driving him to that fancy house_! In that fancy car for two!

Half in a rush, giving him no moment to think twice, I opened that fancy car's door and let him got in.

And so here we were…

Already for the fifth times in this early year, my right foot carefully pressed itself onto the brakes and that newest, most glamorous black Mercedes perfectly stopped on the right spot as usual. I turned off its machine and stole a glance at him. At _my_ Yasha Ou. Oh my gosh, I couldn't take it back I even literally glared at him now.

…But that was okay…_I guess_.

He seemed far too distracted to realize it anyway.

His black eyes were too busy to watch something. No, scratch that, not something. Someone.

_That girl_.

Like always.

_Wait! Had he just smiled?_ I pinched myself. Ouch! Un-fucking believable! That wasn't any smile!

THAT WAS DEFINITELY A GIGGLE!

My jaw dropped an 'o'. I witnessed how his cold black eyes suddenly melted in such emotions, watching over her like we were enjoying a theatre play or a movie. Either way, it seemed to be a quite good one, since it could bring life to his emotionless handsome face. I followed his gaze to that full-glassed second floor of the house in white, a surprisingly modest choice for a son of multi-multi-multi millionaires despite its location in such an elite neighborhood, not so far away from us, and found a very beautiful girl was playing with a good looking small child whose look somehow just reminds me of…him.

Of Yasha Ou.

I gasped.

No doubt, that was _his_ son! Yes, now I remembered reading some articles about big fuzz between Vision and Ou months ago. Over a child custody. That girl left him as she was carrying his baby. She changed her mind just shortly before their wedding was held. Yasha Ou did charge her—a last try to keep her by his side, I bet—but didn't succeed. I guess that was what people meant about how "money talks". No matter how rich and powerful you were, there was always someone who was richer and wealthier and more powerful than you were.

And in this case, of course, nobody would win against the super power of the "first" family of this world, especially if the mother was a senator who was about to be elected as the first female US president in the history and the father globally well known as the best surgeon and the biggest industrialist at the same time. Let alone the fact that his very rival, Eagle Vision, their only child, was also a young, genius and successful professor in medicine and IT. Oh, and fuck me! He was obviously hot! So hot that he might as well be crowned as the hottest man alive like some magazines actually said. Jesus! His whole family was just as hot as hell. I guess it was all in their DNAs. I snorted to the thought of how I might not think twice to marry his father, just in case the rumor of a divorce between them came out to be true. Hell, why not, he was still in his midst 50, wasn't he?

Still, I recalled that Yasha Ou lost against Visions and was not even lucky enough to get that obligatory father-child weekends. Was it why he always silently drove here to see them from a distance?

Christ Almighty, what a cold, heartless family..! No fathers should be forbid to see their own child!

Tears began to gather in my eyes.

04\. Complicated—Yasha

**Yasha**

Love could be an easy but also a difficult matters. It was unique, indescribable and unpredictable. If you had asked me of what type of woman I would like to have as my wife years ago, I'd definitely say 'a woman like Karura!'—a charming, feminine and definitely a highly educated woman. There was never the slightest doubt, that she would make a gorgeous combination as my companion. She grew up tightly within the Japanese tradition, which explained how we had a lot of things in common: our thoughts, our hobbies, our preferences... Moreover, she was great in business, as well as in taking care of the house, for she had a long, effortful training for it. In other words, I knew that she would be a perfect wife and a perfect mother of my future children. And I knew exactly that she thought the same of me.

Well, I wondered whatever had happened to that dream we shared. Despite our marriage, it was not Karura who did carry and raise my child. It was _her_. Sitting in my comfortable car, surrounded by the darkness and only roaming light on that street, I looked up to that warmly lighted window and found them together. Found Ashura and _my_ son, _our_ son, were happily playing with each other in their own world…

I smiled. Ashura was thousands of miles away off from my definition of "the Ideal Wife". Sure, she was breathtakingly beautiful, but obviously, she was anything, but a lady. She threw away her Japanese citizenship at 18 and chose to be American instead. She spent her childhood in Marseille and New York, growing up freely like a common Caucasian teenager. She hadn't got any business background, nor she fancied her father's academic career as a great professor at Harvard's. She didn't even like any formality and was always a messy whenever it came to a term named household. A laugh escaped my lips, as my mind recalled some of those countless silly acts she did as we were still together…Some of those most precious memories of mine in our two years of relationship. While Ashura might not even meet one of my criteria of the dream wife, she always was the only one who could make me feel happy, the only one who could make me feel comfortable and at my ease and the only one who could show me the real meaning of life.

_…__There is nothing I would not do to gather her in my arms again. _

How I'd voluntarily give up ANYTHING for a second chance with her…

How I'd never even give a damn to all my wealth, my life, or whatever it was I own, if only I could hold her once again.

…But money, at the end, had never meant anything to her. Nor to _him_.

My laugh vanished at instant as I caught a glimpse of him. Of the last person I'd like to see in this world. Of my one and only rival. Of _Eagle Vision_.

As always, I felt sick whenever I saw him around.

'_Keep your fuckin' hand off my Ashura!_' My mind shouted aloud, but nobody heard it. Jealousy turned my hands into fists, strongly pressed they hurt so bad at the end.

Tall and amazingly handsome, genius and impossibly rich…Eagle Gerard Vision was definitely the worst nightmare for those who thought that this world was so unfair. Simply by breathing. Simply by existing. Simply by being there. Being so bloody perfect!

Alone with that angelic look, he could lure any female he wanted to into his bed.

Add a mountain of wealth he and at least seven of his later generations wouldn't even need to work a day in their life, he was everything one could ever wish for.

As if the world were not unfair enough, God himself still gave him a privilege to be one of the smartest asses ever in this galaxy..!

…And from millions of women falling to their knees begging for his attention, that SON OF THE BITCH decided for Ashura and took her away from me! Bloody hell!

I was so upset I had almost forgotten that I was not alone in that car.

"Have," I realized that just as that low voice asked me. I turned to her. "Have you at least once seen your son in person?"

Kendappa's eyes were quite red I swore she had just cried thinking of it. Thinking of _my_ problem. For some seconds, I was tempted to tell her about everything. About how desperate I was after I lost against him at the court and about how it was a bless to have Karura on my side, because somehow she had managed to meet that fucking Vision alone, be the only one who did sound reasonable between the four of us—Eagle, me, her and Ashura.

I couldn't believe Ashura claimed that custody alone.

Sure, I sued her. She was carrying him as she wanted to leave me. Losing her was the worst thing ever happened in my life. And losing them, together, had broken me apart. I wished I could turn back the time…

…I swore I would never have _hurt _her like that!

Maybe she would have still stay with me back then.

Maybe she would have not hated me like she did now.

But…

But maybe she would have left anyway. Because Vision would have found and picked her up at the end...and of course, Ashura would still have choose him over me, even if the whole events got repeated for the thousandth times. She would still have chosen him over _anybody _else.

She had loved him dearly—long before, during and after our relationship. _I bet she never had loved me on the very first place_, I sighed as I couldn't even help myself not to feel like a desperate loser.

Still, my thought about him being arrogant for having everything one could wish for in his life was not proven right. According to Karura's story, while Ashura said a big no, to my own surprise, Vision instantly agreed to the term that I shall be given at least that mandatory to visit or even take away my own son for two days every two weeks. It was only thanks to him that ever since about one and a half year ago, I could visit them twice in a month. I couldn't believe I owned that bastard for not missing the moment where my own 6 months old baby calling me "Daddy" for the very first time or when he started walking at the age of ten month and quite clearly talking one month later.

There you went. Despite my dislike of him, I adored his personality, his generosity. Because if he and I were in the vice versa positions, I highly doubted, that I would give him permission to visit us every now and then…I would have hate him like hell. I might brutally crush him: socially and financially. I would love to watch him die…And at that very moment, I would have whisper this, in fully satisfaction, to his dying face: _Ashura is mine. Piss off._

…Too bad I wasn't him. Too good he wasn't me. Vision was simply not a hateable person and I started to see why Ashura, _my_ Ashura, loved him so much…

"Have you at least once visited your son?" Kendappa's repeated question brought me back to reality.

_Of course I have. Almost 40 times since. _But then, thinking of it reminded me that neither Vision nor Ashura was ever there whenever that happened_. _I scowled. "That's none of your bloody business."

"But—"

"Drive me back to the airport. Now!" I commanded.

"Y-yes, Sir." As she started the engine, I once again looked up and found Ashura, alone now, laughing and healthy and happy. She was never that happy as she was still with me, I bitterly realized, before finally and unwillingly turned my gaze to the street in front of us.


End file.
